I can’t anymore.

He learned my secrets, my bruises, my scars, my flaws. And then he left. How do you just walk away? How does someone decide another person just isn’t as important to them anymore? I want to understand. I want to feel closure. Do you know how much it hurts to feel so alone? It hurts to breathe, sleep, eat, walk, think. No one will care until it’s too late to undo the scars I’m leaving on my skin. Maybe I lied when I said I was okay. I’m sorry that I’m damaged and depressed. It just keeps getting worse everyday. I’m not who I want to be. I’m not good enough. Not even close.. When you’ve been sad for so long that when something bad happens you don’t cry, you just sit there & feel numb. Even when I’m happy I know it’s only temporary. Now I’m wearing this smile that I don’t believe in. I’ll walk forever with stories inside me that the people I love the most can never hear. I’m disgusted at the person I’ve become. I’m fucking pathetic. I don’t think anybody understands how alone I feel, or ever will. But there is some part of me that doesn’t want them to. I hurt myself, I can’t hurt them too. No one hates me more than myself. I just want to run away from everything. My “friends”, the crap at school, all of it. Everyone would be happier without me, so don’t try to convince me otherwise. So, maybe that’s why you left..

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