Realizing I’m on my own

I hate myself because I’m sad for no reason, but my pain is real. I’m not who I was before and my parents think they know me, so do my friends. I’m afraid everyone secretly hates me. Don’t be suprised when I disappear. Nothing turns out like I seemed & now I’m scared running from all my dreams. I miss the old, happy me. But how can I miss something I never had. If I was truly happy my life wouldn’t be like this. Everything is falling apart. I overthink so much at night. I feel pathetic. My nightmares don’t end when I open my eyes. I’m wishing one day I just fall fast asleep & don’t wake up. No one is ever going to love me. Someone has to give me a reason to start over again. What the hell is wrong with me. This can’t be my real life. I turned out to be a terrible person.. Would anyone even miss me if I took my own life? I don’t even want to try anymore. Nobody cares that I’m broken. Everyday I realize that no one needs me, again. No one loved me until I began to hate myself, but they still really don’t. I can’t take the anxiety. I’m a mistake. Everyone will care when it’s too late.. I’m sorry.

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