I often think about where I went wrong. My everything is down to nothing. I’m tired of waiting & getting my hopes up for me to just be crushed at the end of it all. Everyone has tried to help me, listened, & given advice. But the thing is that I don’t even know why I’m depressed anymore. I act happy & put on a real good fake smile for the company, but when I’m alone in my room is when I lose it because I think about all the madness in my head. I don’t know how I got myself into this mess or how to clean it up. I’m lost at sea. I can still smile at the rainbows in my life every once in a while. I get so happy though when something goes the way I want & I get my hopes up for nothing. I just want the happiness to last. My hearts such a mess. I don’t even know how to explain how I feel anymore because it’s being pulled in so many directions.