Happiness

I’ve always put my happiness on something that I could potentially lose. I usually put it in people. People have always told me to never do this. I think that I put my happiness in people I could lose because in my messed up head, I believe that I could be that one person to change their whole life around & that I would never lose them. I think that I can change someone, but they always end up changing me. I want to blame me being so insane & screwed up in my head on people who have done this to me, but I’ve realized that it’s all my fault. I’ve been told over & over to never put my happiness in people or try to change someone, but I’m too stubborn to listen. Something in my head whispers to me softly that I’m that one person who has an exception or something, but I never am. I can never change anyone. & I always lose people that make me happy. It’s always been my fault, but I won’t admit it to myself. Sadly enough, it’s the truth whether I like it or not. I think the only thing that I have left that I can be happy about & I know I will never ever lose is Christ..

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